Lately, I have been thinking many reasons in my life.

I don't know why I lost all of my motives gradually.

My mind and my spirit have been trapped into a choas.

Nothing I can find to support them anymore.

I have become...become a being I am not familiar with.

I am not what I used to be.

And then, I begin pondering many reasons why I have drafted into such a dreadful circumstances.

Reasons for existence, life, where to go, and something like that are the subjects I am thinking of.

There is a word says like this: if you want to go some place remarkably, you have to get lost first.

In this point of view, I, maybe, am on my way.

A poem 《Reason》written by Susan Burkhart (1997) I like very much.

      Snow falls, silently, quickly,
  I see so many dreams.
  The snowflake, crystal,
  Melts as it lands
  The grass no longer green.
  From high above the journey is long
  Spinning, tumbling, reaching the ground
  The temperature falls, the snowflake stays
  Covering the fields and brightening the land.
  Engulfing the valleys in stillness
  And so are we, tumbling from above
  Entering the world in a blanket of love.
  Like the snowflake we too have our season,
  Why are we here? There must be a reason
  To Beautify, stay for a while, and fade……

Aye, why are we here? There must be a reason...

Everything happened has its own reason.

In spite of that, it seems that I don't have enough wisdom to figure it out.

I really hate the way I look like by now.

Everything is just in choas.

I indeed need to find something new to resupport my mind.

Can I find it?

Am I in the position of surviving from these hideous circumstances?

I have no idea!!

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Ben's Now and Then:my life digest

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